Write about what wears you out as a woman

This is my constant prayer when I am burdened by this world,

Oh Father, lift this burden from me. Make me desperate for you. I know I have prayed this prayer before. The words roll off my tongue in such a familiar way. I need to be broken. Remove my idols. Reveal what I need to see, to OVERCOME, to BREAK THROUGH. I need a passion. I need a fire burning in my chest. I need none of me and all of you. Why is this so hard? Why can’t I seem to get this? I HATE this world. I HATE what it has to offer!!!!!! Remove the high places from within me. Cleanse my scum covered being. Beat me till I am broken! I would rather be broken completely at the foot of the cross than living a lie, than living in a way that torments me, dishonors You and helps no one. Teach me to wield the sword of truth. Teach me to be a warrior for You. I am not satisfied with this honky dory life. I want to live a reckless life that finds me fighting fiercely until the end. I don’t want a moment of comfort anymore, until I reach heavens gates. I want to be faithfully exhausted for you all of my days. NEVER LET ME GO!!! Grab me daily and shake the fear of Yourself into me. Exhaust me for you. Never let me get weighed down by the everyday. Help me stand and fight NO MATTER WHAT!!!!! Let my mind no longer think ordinary thoughts but ALWAYS be turned towards you!!!

Ephesians 6:12-20

¹²For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.

¹³Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm.

¹⁴Stand firm therefore, having girded your loins with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness,

¹⁵and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

¹⁶in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

¹⁷And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

¹⁸With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints,

¹⁹and pray on my behalf, that utterance may be given to me in the opening of my mouth, to make known with boldness the mystery of the gospel,

²⁰for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in proclaiming it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.

Post a recipe

This is my family's non-traditional recipe for potato latkes.

This recipe makes two medium sized latkes or one really big one. It really all depends on the size of your potatoes.

1. Peel two of your potatoes

2. Use a cheese grater to grate your potatoes.

3. Rinse your potatoes in cold water a couple of times to get out the starch.

4. Pour your bowl of water and potatoes into a strainer. Try to get out as much water as possible.

5. Lay out four paper towels folded in half on your counter and pour your strained potatoes onto the paper towels spreading them evenly over one section of the paper towels.

6. Fold the remaining paper towels over your potatoes and press down to absorb as much remaining moister as possible.

7. Now that you have dried your potatoes return them to a bowl and add one egg, a generous dash of salt, and just a little under even parts cheese to potatoes. Mix well.

8. Turn your stove to medium heat and melt enough butter in the pan to make sure the latka won't get stuck. If you're making two medium sized latkas pour half of your potato mixture into the pan and spread it into a nice circular shape.

9. Wait till there are little bubbles in the center of your latka and the bottom is golden brown. Make sure you loosen the underside of your latke so you can flip it easily.

10. Flip your latke. Make sure your heat isn't too high. You want it to be hot enough to cook the latke at a nice speed but not so hot it only browns or blackens it and leaves the rest raw. Now all you need to do is wait for the other side of your latke to brown. While I'm waiting I like to clean all the dishes I used and get out a plate for my finished latke.

11. Once your latke is fully cooked transfer it to a plate. Repeat steps 8-11 to make a second latke.
Voila!
You've made yourself a super healthy and delicious meal or snack.
Eat with applesauce.
I suggest Trader Joe's unsweetened applesauce.
If anyone ends up trying this recipe let me know how it turned out for you!
Enjoy!

What is Jesus teaching you as a wife, mom, or friend?

In the last couple of months God has been teaching me to let go of control.

He has been teaching me to trust Him in every area of my life.
And slowly I've been learning to be patient and wait on the Lord.

I never realized it before but I have built my whole life on the security that "I am in control of my life." This is really a scary thought because I am not God and therefore do not know everything. If I am trying to control what happens in my life but don't have the full picture that inevitably means I am going to make poor, self-centered choices.
God has so fully provided for me.
I have lists and lists of ways he has answered my unspoken prayers and worked miracles in my life and yet I still desperately grasp onto control as a form of life support.
I had allowed being in control to become a part of me, an ugly part of me.

A few months ago I got a little wake up call in which God powerfully revealed to me that I had to let go of control because it was quite literally making me ill.
The thing is I didn't know how.
A sin like that, that you've been addicted to your whole life, doesn't just vanish over night. Handing over control is a daily struggle for me.
But God is good and slowly but surely He is chipping away the the shackles that have bound me in this sin. I have a constant choice to make, do I choose God or do I choose myself. I feel as though I am falling on my knees in tears begging for God to take control because my life is spinning out of my control everyday.

This sermon by Francis Chan helped me so much!

There's only one thing I need to accomplish everyday and that is to love my Savior,
to fix every fiber of my being on His glory in constant worship.
That's it.
It's so simple and revealing and yet a constant challenge, a constant fight.

It's like running a race.
Your head is pounding, your side aches, your feet feel like a ton of bricks yet you keep moving forward.
"Don't give up!" the crowd shouts around you.
Exhaustion hits you like a wall over and over and over again.
You focus on one thing, your Lord and Savior and you feel a strength deep inside of you flicker. You focus harder and it turns into a steady rhythm.
You focus all of your energy on one thought, "Holy Holy is the Lord God almighty who was and is and is to come" and then that steady rhythm explodes out of you.
You feel strength like you've never known, healing you never thought you would find, and peace overwhelms your entire being.

Hebrews 12:1-2
(Really, read this whole chapter! It's so encouraging!)

What virtues do you value in yourself?

Honesty

When I was younger I was a chronic liar. I lied about countless things a day. I lied to make myself look better, to cover up something bad I had done, to embellish a good story or rather entirely fabricate one. I clearly remember my mother telling me I needed to give up this bad habit. I am not sure when I actually did give it up or if I ever did in the course of my childhood.

Through my early teen years I didn't blatantly lie about things I just created a whole new me which involved lots of "pretending." At some point I woke up and decided I hated who I had become. I wasn't one of the "bad kids" but inside I knew I was living a lie. I stopped trying to please all of my peers. I started speaking up more about things I did or didn't like instead of staying quiet or siding with the the idea that more people seemed to like. I become more introverted and spent more time alone doing art and talking to my mother. God used these new found joys to teach me how to be more like Him.

Skip ahead to the end of this summer. I was working at a Christian family camp and someone told me that when they had asked about me the general consensus was that I was the "super honest girl." This surprised me and I started to really think about it. I saw how God had turned "the chronic liar" into "the honest girl" but was still bewildered at how it had happened.

I know for a fact that at least half of my honesty while working at camp this summer was inadvertent complaining. I saw problems, I talked about them to others, and I talked over solutions. But in general I was a big complainer because even when I didn't voice my complaints there was a constant stream of them running through my head.

As I moved on from the summer I had so many things to repent of. So many of my prayers consisted of "Teach me this Lord," or "Teach me that Lord." And that's when I realized that my transformation was based on my teachability. Through the years God had been working in my life by constantly giving me opportunities to grow and learn in the areas in which I was seeking Him.

Fast forward to today.
I have to watch and make sure my "honesty" isn't just me dogmatically sharing whatever
is on my mind or whatever I think.

God has taught me to open myself up to others, sharing deeply what I am experiencing without having to masquerade as someone I'm not.
Because when you speak the truth in love God's always got your back, you have no need to fear.
The beauty of being honest with someone else is that you can set them free and empower them to be honest and real themselves.

With honesty comes great freedom.
Freedom from the burden of deceit
Freedom from hiddenness
Freedom from the fear of being "found out"
Freedom from lying to a loved one
Freedom to say things you won't regret
Freedom to give your whole heart to the Lord

Have a beauty secret? Share, please!

My beauty regime goes something like this:

I wash my face in the morning and evening with this wonderful natural face wash called,
1. Humphrey's Homeopathic Remedy Non-Drying Cleansing Gel
This stuff is amazing. It's gentle on your skin and doesn't bleach your clothes like other facial cleansers. Since I started using it all my siblings have been converted to using it as well.

In the mornings after I wash my face I use,
2. Eucerin Everyday Protection Sensitive Skin Face Lotion
This lotion is SPF 30 and when applied is smooth and sheer.

In the evenings I use,
3. Almond Glow Rose Skin Lotion
This is my favorite beauty secret! It smells lovely and work so well at repairing and making your skin just plain happy! I used to use vitamin E oil but then switched over to this stuff and it's seriously like magic! Go buy a bottle and try it! It's the best!

Before I go to bed and all throughout the day I use,
4. Burt's Bees' Beeswax Lip Balm
Which as I am sure everyone already knows is the BEST LIP BALM EVER!!!
That's it. Simple, easy and natural!

Encourage another beautiful woman.

This is my beautiful and talented sister Julia a.k.a. Jules.

Julia and I are only a year apart in age.
We have never been the "best of friend" kind of sisters, but by virtue of sharing so many life experiences we have come to realize life without the other would be quite odd.

Dear Jules,
You are extremely motivated, talented and determined!
Thank you for encouraging me to start doing theatre again and for being my constant voice and acting coach.
I don't know what I would do without you pushing me to watch intense movies and exercise with you.
I see you being a role model for all the young girls in your life.
You are the stuff world changers are made of!
I love the way you never stop living a kick butt life!
You are so hard core!
I will always be SO proud of you!
You are beautiful!
I love you sis!

If you're into teen book reviews hop on over and check out Julia's fabulous blog called,
That Hapa Chick.

Has the world's definition of beauty ever jaded you?

In my early teen years I struggled with the fact that I didn’t have the perfect body and wasn’t blonde, bubbly or athletic like the girls around me.
I was different and I knew it.
The underlying thought that I didn’t quite make "the cut" when it came to beauty constantly nagged me through high school, holding me back from living like the woman God had created me to be. Instead I trapped myself in fads and became overly obsessive about my outward appearance. I worked so hard to be the “right kind of girl." I didn’t realize how damaging this was for me until I looked back on my high school years and saw how I had wasted so much time wondering what people thought of me and trying to please them that I had forgotten all about who I really needed to live for.

Through a series of events and people God brought into my life I began to let go of the idols and self doubt that had trapped me. I started doing art on a regular basis and instead of trying to dress myself like the other girls I started wearing what I liked and felt comfortable in.
I became confident that godly guys actually cared about me as a person and not as an object.
I knew God had created someone out there for me who would fall in love with me for me and
would love me till my dying day.

God allowed me to cast aside the ideas about beauty the world had thrown at me and come to the realization that true beauty is being different and being unique, not being a carbon copy of the "popular girls." God freed me from my unhealthy, people pleasing habits and showed me that I was beautiful because of my mind and spirit.

He showed me that I had something to offer the world that no one else could.
He showed me true beauty is being like Christ,
dying to myself so Christ might shine through me,
serving others with no expectations,
praying for those I hate,
realizing I am human and God is all that's worth living for.

That's what really matters in the long run, not my physical appearance which will fade away,
or having the right clothes, or car, or gadgets, those won't last either (Matt. 6:19-21).
The only thing that's going to last is
simply loving the One who saved me, created me and wants most of all to be
my only Love.

Thank someone who has made your heart come alive

I would like to introduce you all to Hallie Liu (yah)
Can't you just tell she's fabulous from this picture?!
Since the day we met we knew our friendship was meant to be, cheesy as it sounds.
Within less than a year of meeting each other we had grown to become the closest of friends.
She is my kindred spirit in every way!

Dear Hal,
You are smart, talented, brilliant, creative, gorgeous,
strong, encouraging, brave, adventurous, and true.
Thank you for sharing who you are with me!
I feel so honored to be your friend!
Whenever I am with you I feel so at ease and at home,
like I can finally breath after being overwhelmed by the distractions of this world!
You have encouraged me through all of my creative escapades and through all of my struggles.
You always push me beyond myself to become the person God intended me to be.
You've seen me at my best and my worst and have taught me so much about life.
Thanks for sitting up in trees with me and letting me share my deepest fears with you.
Thank you for being a constant listening ear!
Thank you for always pointing me back to Jesus!

I am so thankful God in his perfect plan brought us together!

Whenever I'm with you my heart comes alive!

Thank you my darling friend!

You have forever impacted my life!

I love you Hal!

Photo Credit: Jennifer Stewart

Favorite Outfit

This is my go to outfit.

It's nothing special but it's just right for me.
No chance of a wardrobe malfunction,
a slouchy hat in case of bed head,
and comfy footwear.

Outfit Details:
Hat: gift
V-neck tee: Old Navy
Jeans: gift
Moccasins: Target

Note: I do not always take pictures with a guitar. These were from my senior pictures and I decided to reuse them :)

Photo Credit: Miss Erin

Who is someone you know who inspires beauty?

Last summer I had the amazing pleasure of being a camp counselor for thirteen 5th and 6th grad girls.

Each of them was unique, full of life and brilliance.

There girls inspired me to live like Christ.

They taught me so much.

All of my girls inspire beauty but there was one in particular who touched my life.

She's pictured above.

This girl reached into my broken heart and spoke truth into my broken spirit.

She challenged me to be the best possible version of myself.

She taught me to not let things in my life crush my spirit but to be strong and confidant in my

God given beauty.

What makes you uniquely you?

I am a child of God.
I am a friend.
I am a sister.
I am a daughter.
I am an artist.
I think people are unique because of their mind and spirit.
I love the idea that no two people will ever create the exact same piece of art.
I am a perfect blend of my mother and my father.
I have my mothers brown eyes and her dark hair.
I have my fathers stubbornness and "the wang dang eyebrow" from his side of the family.
I have my grandmothers intuition and her drive for creativity.
I am not completely like my father nor my mother but a new creation.
Someone entirely unique like no one else that will ever live or breathe.
God had given me a destiny that only I can fulfill.

Photo Credit: Miss Erin

What does beauty mean to you?

Beauty

The wrinkles on a mother’s hands from all the love and care she has poured into her family.

Beauty

The calm in the eye of a storm, when you can see the dark clouds all around you and yet you’re standing in a sun drenched mist.

Beauty

The face of a child young and innocent just arriving into the world.

Beauty

The ability to let go of yourself and pour the best of who you are into someone else.

I always think about what the people in our world would look like if our physical appearance reflected the state of our hearts. It would be shocking and would change everything about the way we live. Our whole idea of beauty would be turned on its head. Oh, what a revelation that would be.

Human eyes do not see true beauty, it is seen by the eyes of our heavenly Father. Only he can survey the heart moving aside all of the garbage that lies within to find that little, feeble flicker of life that seeks to love Him and Him alone, that seeks all that is true and good and noble.

Real beauty is when you put everyone on the same level and love people without thinking about it. Without weighing the pros and cons but instead recklessly loving because you have nothing to loose.

Beauty is God coming to earth in the form of a man giving up His life for all of us weary creatures, so broken by sin we can’t even see the truth anymore. He sacrificed Himself to give us life, to make the things in this world that were hopeless hopeful, to reveal the truth to all peoples and set them free.

That's what beauty means to me.

Project 31

I have been praying and pondering for some time now how I could begin blogging more. I have been lacking motivation and needed something to encourage me to move forward and refuse to be stagnant anymore.
While reading the lovely blog The Not so Pharaoh Farrows I discovered Project 31.

This project is based off of Proverbs 31 and as I read about it for an instant I was afraid to challenge myself to participate. Then I realized this was just what I needed, this was an answer to my prayers.

Click on the button above to see how Project 31 works and join in if you want. It starts tomorrow and I am so very excited! Here are the list of questions and challenges I will be working through in the next 31 days.

THE LIST:
Day 1. What does beauty mean to you?
Day 2. What makes you uniquely you?
Day 3. Who is someone you know who inspires beauty?
Day 4. Style 31. Post a pic of you in your favorite outfit.
Day 5. Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive.
Day 6. Jaded beauty. Has the world's definition of beauty ever jaded you?
Day 7. Write a blog to encourage another beautiful woman.
Day 8. Have a beauty secret (e.g. hair tip, make up tip)? Share, please!
Day 9. What virtues do you value in yourself?
Day 10. What is Jesus teaching you as a wife, mom, or friend? (Or just woman in general?)
Day 11. Post a recipe. Or if you don't cook, try a new recipe and write about how it turned out (pictures please!).
Day 12. Write about what wears you out as a woman.
Day 13. Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better.
Day 14. Style 31. Post an outfit pic!
Day 15. Write to encourage a friend. Inspire her beauty.
Day 16. Write a letter to your daughter, or a young girl in your life. Tell her what beauty means.
Day 17. Write about 3 things that make you happy.
Day 18. Describe your personality.
Day 19. Write about your favorite comfort food (we are women- we ALL have comfort food!)
Day 20. Write about your job and why you love it or hate it.
Day 21. Write a letter to your husband to encourage him (or if you are single- your future husband.)
Day 22. What are some needs that need to be met in your community? Blog about how to extend your hand to those who need you.
Day 23. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses?
Day 24. What is Jesus teaching you presently?
Day 25. Style 31. Post a pic of your favorite comfy clothes.
Day 26. What do you hope your grandchildren will say about you someday when you are gone?
Day 27. Write a blog to encourage someone and build their confidence!
Day 28. Write about your insecurities as a woman.
Day 29. Write about "a day in the life of me." (Pics are great!)
Day 30. Who is your role model as a woman?
Day 31. Write about your dreams and goals as a beautiful woman!