To kick start the new year I thought I would write another letter to the future Mr. Blessed Not Lucky. He has been
To: My Man
It feels like I've thought about what to say and how to say this about a thousand times.
I'm so so so sorry for hurting you over and over again. I once watched this Hallmark movie called "When Love Is Not Enough" about the start of alcoholics anonymous. At the end of the film the wife asks the husband, "why wasn't my love enough?" And I thought, "man, why wasn't her love enough for him to stop?????" Now I totally get it. [Romans 7:15-25]
We are born selfish creatures and we die selfish creatures. There will never be a time in our lives on this earth where we become perfect all of a sudden. Ever since the garden of Eden we can never hope to reach perfection on earth. That's not an excuse for our actions but it explains why nothing will be enough on this earth. We will constantly be battling within ourselves against our inexplicable desire to do what we know isn't right. If we could reach perfection on earth there would be no need for Jesus to come and spread the Gospel of a new kingdom. The beauty of the hope we have in spending eternity with an all loving, all knowing, all powerful God would be stripped away if we never experienced the brokenness, and constant struggle of life on this earth.
When I say I love you it feels so empty and fake considering that with my actions daily I put my wants and desires above Jesus and you. I feel like a total fraud, which is what has been bothering me lately.
So here is what I have to say, I love you.
This means, I promise to be true to you by being true to God first.
I know that I will make mistakes and that I will hurt you but I promise that I will surrender my sin to God and allow Him to grow me and make me stronger through my mistakes.
I will try with all the strength God gives me to be the best I can be for Him and for you.
I’ll never give up on you or hold a grudge against you when you come to me with a broken heart.
I promise to dive into ANYTHING God calls us to and not be afraid to get my hands dirty.
I promise to lay my anxiety at Jesus' feet trusting in God and allowing Him to fill me heart, soul and mind. This and only this can set me free to love you like Jesus.
I love you means, I love you for you,
for merely existing.
I love you because you are the man God has called me to cherish and bless all of my days. It does not mean I love you because of what you can do for me or what you can give me. I love you because you are a human being and God calls us to love our neighbor as ourselves, just like that, with no rules, or prerequisites. He calls us to an abiding, self sacrificing and unconditional love. This is the love I pray I can give you for all your days on this earth.
Sincerely and with all my love, Your Little Griffin