Friday, January 28, 2011

What virtues do you value in yourself?

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Honesty
When I was younger I was a chronic liar. I lied about countless things a day. I lied to make myself look better, to cover up something bad I had done, to embellish a good story or rather entirely fabricate one. I clearly remember my mother telling me I needed to give up this bad habit. I am not sure when I actually did give it up or if I ever did in the course of my childhood.

Through my early teen years I didn't blatantly lie about things I just created a whole new me which involved lots of "pretending." At some point I woke up and decided I hated who I had become. I wasn't one of the "bad kids" but inside I knew I was living a lie. I stopped trying to please all of my peers. I started speaking up more about things I did or didn't like instead of staying quiet or siding with the the idea that more people seemed to like. I become more introverted and spent more time alone doing art and talking to my mother. God used these new found joys to teach me how to be more like Him.

Skip ahead to the end of this summer. I was working at a Christian family camp and someone told me that when they had asked about me the general consensus was that I was the "super honest girl." This surprised me and I started to really think about it. I saw how God had turned "the chronic liar" into "the honest girl" but was still bewildered at how it had happened.

I know for a fact that at least half of my honesty while working at camp this summer was inadvertent complaining. I saw problems, I talked about them to others, and I talked over solutions. But in general I was a big complainer because even when I didn't voice my complaints there was a constant stream of them running through my head.

As I moved on from the summer I had so many things to repent of. So many of my prayers consisted of "Teach me this Lord," or "Teach me that Lord." And that's when I realized that my transformation was based on my teachability. Through the years God had been working in my life by constantly giving me opportunities to grow and learn in the areas in which I was seeking Him.

Fast forward to today.
I have to watch and make sure my "honesty" isn't just me dogmatically sharing whatever
is on
my mind or whatever I think.

God has taught me to open myself up to others, sharing deeply what I am experiencing without having to masquerade as someone I'm not.
Because when you speak the truth in love God's always got your back, you have no need to fear
.
The beauty of being honest with someone else is that you can set them free and empower them to be honest and real themselves.

With honesty comes great freedom.
Freedom from the burden of deceit
Freedom from hiddenness
Freedom from the fear of being "found out"
Freedom from lying to a loved one
Freedom to say things you won't regret
Freedom to give your whole heart to the Lord

2 comments:

  1. I love your soft and transparent heart towards the Lord. That is so beautiful.

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  2. "The beauty of being honest with someone else is that you can set them free and empower them to be honest and real themselves." --this is so perfectly you, Mia, and one of the things I love best about talking to you!

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