Monday, January 31, 2011

What is Jesus teaching you as a wife, mom, or friend?

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In the last couple of months God has been teaching me to let go of control.
He has been teaching me to trust Him in every area of my life.
And slowly I've been learning to be patient and wait on the Lord.

I never realized it before but I have built my whole life on the security that "I am in control of my life." This is really a scary thought because I am not God and therefore do not know everything. If I am trying to control what happens in my life but don't have the full picture that inevitably means I am going to make poor, self-centered choices.
God has so fully provided for me.
I have lists and lists of ways he has answered my unspoken prayers and worked miracles in my life and yet I still desperately grasp onto control as a form of life support.
I had allowed being in control to become a part of me, an ugly part of me.

A few months ago I got a little wake up call in which God powerfully revealed to me that I had to let go of control because it was quite literally making me ill.
The thing is I didn't know how.
A sin like that, that you've been addicted to your whole life, doesn't just vanish over night.
Handing over control is a daily struggle for me.
But God is good and slowly but surely He is chipping away the the shackles that have bound me in this sin. I have a constant choice to make, do I choose God or do I choose myself. I feel as though I am falling on my knees in tears begging for God to take control because my life is spinning out of my control everyday.

This sermon by Francis Chan helped me so much!

There's only one thing I need to accomplish everyday and that is to love my Savior,
to fix every fiber of my being on His glory in constant worship.
That's it.
It's so simple and revealing and yet a constant challenge, a constant fight.

It's like running a race.
Your head is pounding, your side aches, your feet feel like a ton of bricks yet you keep moving forward.
"Don't give up!" the crowd shouts around you.
Exhaustion hits you like a wall over and over and over again.
You focus on one thing, your Lord and Savior and you feel a strength deep inside of you flicker. You focus harder and it turns into a steady rhythm.
You focus all of your energy on one thought, "Holy Holy is the Lord God almighty who was and is and is to come" and then that steady rhythm explodes out of you.
You feel strength like you've never known, healing you never thought you would find, and peace overwhelms your entire being.


Hebrews 12:1-2
(Really, read this whole chapter! It's so encouraging!)

4 comments:

  1. To simply trust. So basic, so difficult. <3

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  2. This is so true.
    I just want to say how much I appreciate your honest writing and how glad I feel, especially in this time of my life here in this world, to have stumbled on your blessing of a blog.
    I love blogs on crafts and pictures and clothes and music, but so many words about the Savior, how much more important that is!

    ~Michele

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  3. Michele,

    You have no idea how much your encouragement means to me!

    Thank you friend!

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