In the last few months God has been teaching me to believe in Him and trust in Him like a child again. I have been thinking, "I can do this on my own. God has better things to do then look out for me." These thoughts are so self destructive. Even though all the right things were coming out of my mouth I really didn't believe them. I kept shoving aside my desire to believe that God has everything under control, that He cares enough to give me what I need.
Now sitting here after months of growing pains in my relationship with Him I see He just wants to love me, to surprise me, to woo me. He loves nothing more than for me to discover something He has done for me and be completely captivated and in awe of His goodness. He desires for me to delight in Him. This concept is totally mind blowing to me. Now daily I wake up and think of all of the ways He has provided for me down to the smallest details, and cannot help but praise the Lord.
When I pray and make requests of the Lord I no longer hear this nagging voice inside of me saying, "He doesn't really want to do that for you." No, instead it has been replaced by a peaceful calm that reassures me God is always for me. Nothing is too great for Him. His Spirit resides in me and His deepest desire is to teach me to be desperate for Him, to be a lover of the Lord, to know Him, to believe in His almighty power.
25) At that time Jesus declared, "I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that you have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children;
26) yes, Father, for such was your gracious will.
27) All things have been handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.
28) Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29) Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
30) For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."